Some Friends from College Dive On Into the Rapidly Escalating Fast Food Chicken Sandwich Wars: A Tournament (Working Title)
Part 1 of 4
In August of 2019, Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen debuted a new menu item with minimal hype and fanfare. The fast food chicken chain, first and foremost a KFC competitor, made the relatively obvious and overdue decision to add a chicken sandwich to its menu for the first time in its 47 year history. The response was immediate, overwhelmingly positive, and created a logistical nightmare for an overwhelmed supply chain. In addition to spawning a brand-based meme war, the sandwich itself had gone viral, instantly drawing comparisons to Chick-fil-A’s widely beloved signature menu offering and selling out all across America. Within weeks, Popeyes had to discontinue the item indefinitely while it reloaded and restocked after an unprecedented and unmitigated success.
Both Popeyes and Chick-fil-A could claim success in this little August skirmish. Popeyes sales went through the roof in 2019 and they had successfully knocked Chick-fil-A off its throne as America’s premiere fast food chicken sandwich dispensary for a couple weeks. But Chick-fil-A absorbed the blow and easily outlasted Popeyes’ flash in the pan; by February of 2020, Chick-fil-A had once again been named America’s favorite restaurant chain for the sixth straight year by the American Customer Satisfaction Index whereas Popeyes was ranked in the bottom five after failing to meet so much of the initial consumer demand for its new sandwich. In hindsight, it is very easy and straightforward to say that Popeyes had won the battle, but Chick-fil-A the war — the Chicken Sandwich War of 2019.
But what if 2019 were only the beginning?
We can’t wait for our fans to get their hands on the New Classic Chicken Sandwich which has the perfect crunch from breading and pickles paired with the juiciness and flavor of the fillet.
-Carl Loredo, Chief Marketing Officer for The Wendy’s Company, 10/22/2020
What if fast food chains around the country took notice of the sensation Popeyes caused, and asked, “why can’t we do that as well?”
We’ve heard our customers loud and clear, and we know they’re craving more chicken options… We’re confident all chicken fans — from traditionalists to spice enthusiasts — will discover a new menu favorite they’ll come back for time and time again.
-Linda VanGosen, McDonald’s Vice President of Menu Innovation, 1/5/2021
What if 2021 were shaping up to be the year Big Fast Food went all in on marketing the concept of the chicken sandwich wars, a good eighteen months after comparisons between Chick-fil-A and Popeyes ended organically?
Many customers hadn’t considered KFC as a part of the chicken sandwich conversation, but anyone who tastes this sandwich will know, without a doubt, that we’re playing to win.
-Andrea Zahumensky, Chief Marketing Officer of KFC U.S., 1/7/2021
Folks, I regret to inform you that the fast food chicken sandwich wars are back, and they’re back big.
Wendy’s, McDonalds, and KFC have all entered the fray. The new Wendy’s sandwich launched a few months ago and both McDonald’s and KFC are going nationwide in February. Burger King has made some noise about testing a new sandwich in select markets as well, and may debut something before the year ends. Even Taco Bell plans to get in on “disrupting” the chicken wars, whatever that means.
With so many new fast food sandwiches launching, we can surely expect approximately five hundred listicles on the internet where the merits of various sandwiches are discussed and compared.
This is one of them. Or at least it’s the prelude to one.
It’s Tourney Time
I’ll cut to the chase. Two of my dear friends — Tim and Keith — are about to join me in embarking on a fast food chicken sandwich journey. We are prepared to consume, compare, and contrast the multitude of fast food chicken sandwich options available to us here in Eastern-ish Massachusetts in the first few months of 2021. And we are going to record our thoughts and opinions on the subject both here and — because we are white suburban thirty-something dads— on a podcast, a link to which can be found atop this post.
Rather than go our separate ways, compare a bunch of sandwiches, and return with a collaborative ranked list after a few months, we are going to milk this process by turning the proceedings into an eight-entrant tournament. We will meet every few weeks to discuss our thoughts on the various chicken sandwiches we’ve eaten, and at the end of it all we will crown a champion. It will be great. Really!
Eight sandwiches will enter the tournament and compete for our votes and at this point I am merely describing how a bracket-based tournament works, so let’s move on and meet the contenders, shall we?
The Field
Determining the field was a fairly straightforward process thanks to logistical limitations. The three of us are located across Eastern-ish Massachusetts, and remarkably few fast food chains with chicken sandwiches are ubiquitous enough in the region for inclusion in our field. We landed on eight sandwiches from six different restaurants that hopefully represent a broad nationally available menu rather than a regionally limited selection.
For the sake of logistics (or in other words, out of an abundance of laziness and convenience) we won’t be seeding this tournament; rather, match-ups will be determined based on temporal limitations and venue proximity. It’s all covered in the podcast, very sloppily.
Prices and calorie counts come from a variety of sources across the internet and surely vary anyway.
The Big Two
We’ve got to put these on opposite sides of our tournament. We’re not seeding the tournament per se, but if they were to meet one another prior to the finals it would certainly feel like a lost opportunity. Give them the chance to meet each other there, you know? They’ve earned it.
Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich
$3.75 | 440 cal
The uncontested king of the fast food chicken sandwich for years if not decades. Chick-fil-A’s menu appears to contain four distinct sandwiches at first glance, but they really just cover a two-by-two matrix of optional alterations on the same overall baseline product: a chunk of chicken breast, breaded, seasoned, and fried in peanut oil, served atop a buttered bun with a couple of crinkle-cut pickle chips underneath. Whether you kick it up a notch by opting for the spicy variant of seasoning or not is up to you, and so is the decision to make it a “deluxe” by adding lettuce and tomatoes and cheese. Do both, do neither, do whatever.
Popeyes Chicken Sandwich
$3.99 | 690 cal
If Chick-fil-A claims ownership of the original chicken sandwich, then Popeyes deserves credit for launching the chicken wars by coming for that crown out of nowhere. Like Chick-fil-A’s sandwich, this one comes on a buttered bun with pickle chips by default. The only major difference in form is the inclusion of mayonnaise (which can be swapped out for spicy mayonnaise or omitted entirely upon request). That mayo alone isn’t causing the 250-calorie difference between this offering and Chick-fil-A’s, and this is without a doubt a heavier sandwich. Will that added heft play to its favor? Time will tell.
The Newcomers
Both the McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich and KFC Chicken Sandwich will debut nationally in February. This is exciting! It’s entirely possible that these are your new rivals for the fast food chicken sandwich crown, ladies and gentlemen. It’s also possible that they suck total shit!
Oh and Wendy’s is here with their new offering too. I’ve already had it. I have opinions about it, and you will hear them later, dammit!
KFC Chicken Sandwich
$3.99 | ??? cal
To be frank, it’s kind of embarrassing that the world’s largest fast food chicken chain has had to resort to stunt sandwiches with Cheetos and donuts in order to make waves and headlines. Just make a quality product, assholes. Fortunately it sounds like KFC has done exactly that, as many early reviews on this sandwich are glowing. The sandwich itself looks to be even more of a Popeyes clone than Popeyes’ was a Chick-fil-A clone. We’ve got white meat, pickle chips, a buttered bun, and either regular or spicy mayonnaise upon request. The chicken purports to be “double-breaded” and “extra crispy,” almost like this is simply a boneless KFC breast between two buns. Sounds amazing. Can’t wait!
McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich
$?.?? | ??? cal
One thing McDonald’s is and always has been is safe. The McRib is on and off the menu every few years, but it’s otherwise a remarkably consistent and conservative menu. While Taco Bell and Burger King are wilding out with shit like burgers and tacos (respectively), McDonald’s has never really strayed from what works for them. And why would they? So it seems very fitting that they aren’t so much diving right into the chicken wars, but dipping a toe or two into the pool by gussying up a very regular looking chicken sandwich with pickles. In fact I am unconvinced that the oddly-named Crispy Chicken Sandwich is anything more than the old Southern Style Chicken Sandwich (2005–2015, RIP) with a buttered bun. Adhering somewhat to Chick-fil-A’s conventions, McDonald’s is offering three variants — the baseline, a spicy version, and a deluxe. But the spicy version merely adds a “spicy sauce” to the baseline like Popeyes and KFC, rather than tweaking the seasoning like Chick-fil-A, and the deluxe version comes with lettuce, tomato, and mayo, but no pickles or cheese. Curious!
Wendy’s Classic Chicken Sandwich
$4.99| 490 cal
Wendy’s is an odd duck in the fast food world and always has been. On one hand they have plenty of offerings that seem or sound like they’re trying to be healthier or fancier than all their competitors — looking at you, Grilled Asiago Ranch Club and Apple Pecan Chicken Salad. And then on the other hand they’re appealing directly to 2006 Internet culture by registering trademarks on sandwich names like the Baconator. At any rate, they’re two versions of this chicken sandwich. The confusingly named “Classic Chicken Sandwich” is the one they just unveiled last fall to compete with Popeyes and Chick-fil-A and it comes “deluxed” by default with mayo, tomato, pickles, and lettuce. But Wendy’s also offers a “Spicy Chicken Sandwich,” and has been doing so since 1996, a full fourteen years before Chick-fil-A began to do so. And Wendy’s spicy variant is seasoned differently, and you could even say Chick-fil-A copied them in that respect back in 2010. So what’s going on here? Is the new Classic really just an un-spiced version of the classic Spicy? Should we even allow the two items to compete under the same, shared umbrella? I neither know nor care. This paragraph is too long!
The Old Guard
The five sandwiches listed above are very similar and all follow a very specific formula. They begin life as distinct chunks of chicken breast meat, they are breaded (sometimes in both spicy and non-spicy seasoning variants) and deep-fried, and then they are placed on a bun (usually buttered), typically accompanied by pickles, often by mayonnaise, sometimes by lettuce and tomato, and on occasion by cheese. The remaining three sandwiches in our field represent an older, cheaper, and more traditional fast food chicken sandwich format. I refer of course to the chicken patty — a hot-dog-esque blend of who knows what parts of the chicken carcass and who knows what else, coated or otherwise held together by a seasoned breading, typically served on a bun with lettuce and mayonnaise and sold for something like a dollar. Frankly the odds these sandwiches would have to overcome in order to take down the top dogs are unfathomable. Who cares. Let them play!
McDonald’s McChicken
$1.29 | 400 cal
The McChicken debuted in 1980. It failed miserably and immediately and was replaced by Chicken McNuggets, which I do not have to tell you were an immediate runaway success. Such a success, in fact, that McDonald’s brought the McChicken back in 1988. It floundered again and was pulled back once more in 1996. Finally in 1998 it emerged for a third time, smaller, leaner, cheaper, and primed for the value menu, where it has remained now for 23 years. It used to contain dark meat; it no longer does. It used to contain fish, maybe? Look, it doesn’t matter. It’s a buck, give or take inflation. You know what it is. You know exactly what it is. We don’t need to spend any more time discussing it!
Wendy’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich
$0.99| 330 cal
Wendy’s also has a chicken patty sandwich that comes with lettuce and mayonnaise and can be yours for a dollar. It looks identical to the McChicken even in their promotional photos, and there is nothing interesting about it at all. Here is what is interesting about it. I said earlier on that Wendy’s debuted a spicy chicken sandwich all the way back in 1996, fourteen years before Chick-fil-A did. Well, Wendy’s only just one year ago in 2020 unveiled a spicy version of their Crispy Chicken Sandwich. How can this be? I’m feeling the Mandela effect here —I am certain that there has always been a spicy version of the Wendy’s dollar menu chicken patty sandwich. My memory has failed me, and I am rapidly losing steam here.
Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich
$4.49 | 660 cal
Get a load of this shit! It’s long and stupid and it costs four times as much as the other two chicken patties. I think Burger King invented this primarily to use it as a blank slate of sorts for limited time offerings like their Italian Chicken Sandwich (a fast food take on chicken parm), their French Chicken Sandwich (a fast food take on cordon blue), and their Angry Chicken Sandwich (but why?), among others. Burger King has plenty of big and filling chicken sandwich options on their menu at any given time — why on earth are we including this thing instead of the TenderCrisp? It doesn’t matter. None of this matters! So let me go ahead and wrap it all the way the hell up already.
The Bracket
I would literally draw this image out, but I am done drawing this post out, you know?
In the first round, over the next few weeks, on the “left side” of the tourney tree that you can picture when you close your eyes, the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich will go head-to-head against BK’s Original Chicken Sandwich and the two Wendy’s sandwiches will square off against each other. The two winners will advance to the second round, which is already the so-called final four.
Following that, still in the first round, on the right side of the bracket, Chick-fil-A will face KFC and McDonald’s will face McDonald’s. Our final four will be complete.
And following that, over the course of a few more weeks, we will revisit the final four sandwiches as needed before meeting one last time to determine the outcomes of three more sandwich battles.
And that’s it! Off we go, ready to reconvene in a couple of weeks to see if Burger King’s fifty-year old chicken patty sandwich can pull off the upset against the viral Popeyes sensation, and whether Wendy’s can hang with the big boys in the rapidly escalating fast food chicken sandwich wars or if they should just stick to those crispy patties.
Good luck to us, and also to you!
